Snowball
Compound Fracture
This is a story about how health problems compound and snowball.
It’s hard, and it’s miserable.
I went to bed last night at 8pm. I have been chronically tired for some time, and I am not sleeping well. I also had a bit of a cold. I’d been experiencing lots of sharp, sudden brain zaps all day. Electric pains up the side of my head.
Yesterday’s exhaustion led to a few things - fatigue, and quick unhealthy decisions about dinner.
My long suffering wife asked me “What do you want for dinner?”
“I dunno…something easy” I answered initially, a bit paralysed by the simplest of decisions.
“…I think something carby, maybe just grab a pizza”
And so it was, a Pizza for tea about 7:30pm. Spiced salami.
A well seasoned mistake.
I went to bed, exhausted, but with a very mild pride that I’d at least tried to prioritise rest instead of pushing myself too hard. I took all my regular medications, and added some ibuprofen and co-codamol into the mix to manage the headache and pain.
Just before midnight, I awoke, with a pooling gloop of acid burning a hole at the back of my throat and mouth.
It was in my lungs, as I tried to cough it up. For some reasons I grabbed a pillow to cough into, as if trying to keep it quiet would somehow lessen it.
I coughed and coughed, but it didn’t really fully clear. I got my wedge pillow out, to try and lay upright and return to sleep, but it didn’t help much, and just causes space issues and undoubtedly annoyance for my wife.
After an hour, I eventually sat up and got out of bed, grabbed a drink and sat on my sofa until I could try again. Coughing and finding it hard to breathe.
And I did get back to sleep - initially with the pillow, but ended up with pains in my back and shoulders from the weird angles. I abandonded the wedge, and went for a regular pillow.
This was the beginning of a night filled with constant waking moments, largely caused by pain and pinched nerves.
I’m a side sleeper - and no matter which side I sleep on currently, I pinch a nerve somewhere in my shoulder or my arm - ulnar nerve entrapment is my current best guess. It cuts off all feeling to my pinky and ring finger. So I frequently wake up in pain, or in a bit of a panic about why I can’t feel my fingers. A lot of disturbed sleep.
And so, finally, I wake just before my alarm about 7:15am. I’m groggy, my throat hurts, my voice is the texture of gravel, and I have a persistent cough from the acid in my lungs.
I haven’t eaten yet because that feels like the last thing I should do and have no appetite. I have some coffee.
I’m exhausted and just the most basic things feels fatiguing and hard.
I get ready, walk the kids to the drop-off point for the school walk, and hazily start work form home.
I feel tired. I feel utterly dysfunctional. I feel guilty that I’m going to be poor company, and not performing at my best in work. I intend to cancel my plans for the week. I feel like a blackhole - something that is going to suck the energy out of anyone I talk to today. I want to hide all of this from everyone. I don’t know where to put all this, so I’m putting it here.
All of this is real, but I feel like a hypochondriac.
I am seeking help - I have been waiting for 6 months following a referral to neurology, and the same time for a umbilical hernia operation. I’ve not heard a thing.
I am counting down the minutes until I can nap again.